I was seriously thinking of putting this in the “humor” section of our website, but…
Dying should be optional. That’s why the new breed of bros are injecting themselves with Chinese chemicals.
Every person is born, lives, and dies. But to the new-school tech-bro, that’s just decel thinking: Dying should be optional.
Tech bros are taking the quest for immortality to new, potentially hazardous heights. Not content with red-light therapies, multivitamins, and cold plunges, they’re also injecting mysterious chemicals, developing nicotine addictions, and measuring the speed of their sperm. “I think the next version of the tech bro is to use some headband to modify and even increase sleep, or use some sort of compound to give you the short sleeper gene,” said Max Marchione, 25, cofounder of telehealth-for-longevity startup Superpower.
Most of the nearly two dozen tech bros we surveyed were eager to try any and everything to extend their lives to infinity, while also optimizing their workable hours. Marwan Refaat, 25, an investor at Fractal Capital, takes a pill called Zest, which provides delayed-release caffeine after eight hours so he can wake up and be immediately ready to grind. And, lest a hormone imbalance hamper his productivity, he got a tattoo on his wrist that “glows red/green based on my hormone levels,” flagging him if something is awry.